Kyle: That’s a different one of these all messed up pickup artist things, the quantity strategy. Like, I’m gonna deliver 500 communications to 500 random individuals who are mean, or like, a dick that is unsolicited or whatever. And like, is the fact that style of individual you need to be? and I also guess somebody who would accomplish that probably is not listening for this podcast within the place that is first. But i simply think online dating sites can be this kind of thing that is cool. And it hasn’t always existed, but can also be a really, really, really bad, toxic thing too like you said.

tony: Yeah, and we don’t would you like to deride individuals who do deliver a bunch out of communications and have fun with the figures game, however. I believe the critical part of exactly just what Kyle just stated is similar to, who distribute a mean thing, right? Or whom send out an unsolicited cock pic or like shit like this. Because playing the figures game is truthfully section of exactly exactly what internet dating can be a guy. Like I happened to be on OkCupid for, we don’t understand, half a year last time I happened to be single and delivered like one hundred messages and got like two replies. & Most of this guys that I’ve talked to possess comparable experiences with this, where like you need to send a bunch of messages if you want to ever go on a date with somebody.

Kyle: Oh that simply may seem like a recipe for…

tony: Oh it sucks. On the web dating sucks. Nonetheless it’s a location where you could holler at people, appropriate, in a way that is respectful. We also understand all the females that I realize that have done internet dating get like 50,000 communications off jump. And thus once again, just like the numbers game is not always the thing that is bad. I believe the thing there clearly was on how you approach someone and is it respectful? And you may up hit somebody and be like, hey, do you enjoy casual intercourse? And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. That’s chill, but don’t send them a cock pic without their permission or like hit them through to some super explicit intimate shit or such a thing like this. Like, seriously, y’all. Therefore there’s one destination it is possible to out ask people.

I believe a different one, that will be honestly where I’ve gotten nearly all of my times over time, is much like, shared activities that are social. Therefore, and once more, that one is tricky, appropriate? Since it’s like, okay, when you meet someone at a celebration, that would be a location where you could question them away on a night out together. You ask somebody out on a date if you meet somebody in your D&D group, that can be a place. You ask somebody out on a date if you meet somebody doing martial arts, that can be a place where. And i believe the important thing there is certainly like, don’t make it their problem if they’re perhaps not interested.

Because social pursuits like that that you will get taking part in, like you can actually understand individuals

And so that it’s normal that while you reach mutually understand people, you may be like, hey, we have a great deal in keeping. It’d be awesome in the event that you desired to venture out on a or any. And I also think there’s absolutely nothing incorrect with making the approach. The important things to bear in mind is: don’t make it their problem if they’re perhaps not interested. Like, they’re allowed to maybe not be interested. And you may simply let it go. You realize, like parties and things like that, too. And once again, that way all comes home to consent too. Specially you need to pay attention to what they’re saying and what their body language is if you’re trying to holler at somebody. And then don’t go after it if you get any hint of them not being into it either because they explicitly say that or just because it seems like they’re not that into it. Like there’s no rule saying you have to try to go home with somebody that you have to flirt with everybody or. Just play it cool, guy. Bring it cool, guy.

(tony the scribe interlude): Hey, it is tony the scribe through the future. Hey, therefore that we didn’t really do a good job here of talking about the fact that lots of folks have different abilities around social situations while we were working on this episode in the editing booth, we realized. So some people can read cues that are social effortlessly. Many people can’t at all. Some individuals understand intuitively what boundaries actually are likely to cause people to feel safe. Other folks don’t. And so the cheat sheet right right here and we also should probably plunge much deeper into this in the next episode, but it is if you’re maybe not yes whether someone is more comfortable with the way in which you’re acting towards them, you may either question them, or perhaps you can simply choose to move away. And either of these are completely options that are cool. Therefore, yeah, sorry about this. Okay. Break time.

(mid-episode break): Hey, hey, hey, this really is tony the scribe. Welcome to Episode 4 of What’s Good, Man? If this will be your episode that is first for joining us. With us so far if you’ve listened to the other ones, thanks for sticking around. Glad you’re enjoying it. When you haven’t gotten the possibility, please contribute to the show. Provide us with an excellent review on your chosen podcast application. A lot of people have now been sharing the show on the social networking with buddies. We really appreciate that. Podcasts spread well via recommendations. Therefore it actually is important whenever you share the show along with other people like you. We would also like you to definitely keep carefully the discussion going, so please use hashtag #WhatsGoodMan on social networking. If you would you like to talk about the show or just around this issue or if you’ve got a critique or anything that way, we should hear all of it. Otherwise, my Twitter. There are also us on Instagram, Twitter as well as wgmpod There are transcripts for each and every episode here, too. Go ahead and touch base if you would like state hi, provide us a few ideas for Season 2 episodes, or guide us for a real time show. Our theme music is through daedae and letmode. It is killed by them each and every time. The rest of the music is through me personally, including this rock shit that is extremely indie. I’ve never done any such thing similar to this before, but I’m really happy with exactly exactly how it ended up. So yeah. Let’s make contact with our discussion around healthy relationship. Thank you for joining us this time around.